the emotional life of sølje

I have written about some of my sponsored Women For Women sisters in the past. Today I received a large envelope that had a letter and this beautiful beaded doily enclosed. After spending the weekend at Warm Beach on our church’s woman’s retreat, I was emotionally overflowing. To receive this precious gift from a woman that is absolutely struggling in an unsafe, war-torn area has filled my heart to overflowing even further.

As a someone who beads, I know the time it took to create this doily (especially considering my lack of patience with seed beads!), and considering this woman has eight children (as well as caring for her sick inlaws)–you can imagine how she manages her life, as difficult as it is already! I feel blessed that she took the time to even consider creating this for me!

Having been remiss at letter writing over this past year, I promise to be more active with that. Typically Women For Women discourages sending gifts like this because postage does get costly as you can imagine. I feel very blessed right now.

Clicking through to the flickr page, you can choose to view the item fully when clicking on “all sizes”. So much work!

Tags: Art, Women For Women writings by Administrator
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We received cherries this week that were perfectly ripe in our CSA box. This is actually the third week of getting them, so I decided we need to try something different than simply eating them one by one. I didn’t have any cream, but I did use Golden Glen Creamery’s whole milk. Yum. We like our ice cream creamier, but the flavor for this cherry ice cream was really good.

Today I also received a letter from my sponsered Women for Women sister. Communication can be a little rough, because of translating letters the mail is delayed by a month or more. There are a lot of women being helped, so you can imagine the need the organization has for translators. Letters are highly encouraged, as it’s a personal link between the two “sisters”. The part that is bittersweet is knowing that after one year, my sponsored sister will be moving forward to the next phase in the Women for Women program–which means that our communication will likely also cease unless you know of someone who can translate for you/or if you learn the language to write. I don’t know if my next sister will also be in Kosovo, but it has been where my past three sisters have been.

My last letter was written right after Kosovo was declared separate from Serbia. Zyrha, in response to that letter, wrote in part:

We are very happy that we are free now because we have suffered very much during the years under the Serbian occupancy. Thanks to God that we had the USA by our side; the USA helped us during the war and supported us during the complicated process of declaring our independence. The USA used its influence over the other countries and helped to solve Kosovo’s case in our favor.

The Independence Day was the most sought-after day for ages. We lost most love ones during the war and many other are still missing. Our wounds will take time to heal especially the emotional ones.

I hope that we will never be forced to go through any other war any more.

I have a garden and now that is spring time I have planted many flowers and vegetables in it. I take care of them with pleasure. I am fifty years old but I have the strength of a young girl because I never get tired of working.

Zyhra had lost her husband and a son during the war. She has eight children, and 14 living in her household. When I think about drudgery during the day, I will have to think about all Zyrha has endured and how she has continued on. Time to count my blessings.

So, tonight I will write a new letter to Zyhra. I will talk about the cherry ice cream (milk) that I made today, and I will let her know that I wished she could be sitting with me here, enjoying the indulgence while listening to the rest of summer around us.

Tags: Cooking, Thinkings and Thoughts, Women For Women writings by Solje
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Between all the enamored voter news (insert religious revival events), I caught the “snippet” that Kosovo has declared its independence! I have three sisters in Kosovo, so this was much more than a “snippet” to me. One of my sisters lost her husband and a son during the war, and all three have been severely affected by the ethnic cleansing crap that was happening. I see that some countries are upset with this… why? Because a country chooses to be independent… to have its own autonomy? I say “Urime Pavaresia!” to my sisters as my own country celebrates 232 years of independence (depending on which year the historians say the Declaration of Independence was really signed, sealed, delivered).

Dear Zyhra,
Urime Pavaresia! I have been watching the news and see that your country has declared it’s independence! Congratulations to you, your family, and friends. I know there is still some trepidation following this declaration. Unë mendoj për ty.

Sinqerisht,
Melissa

Tags: Thinkings and Thoughts, Women For Women writings by Solje
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First, I want to brag that one of my postcards I donated to the FFAC booth that will be at the Houston show this year is posted up on Virginia’s preview page. I was very excited when she let me know. I get a real complex over my work (not feeling good enough, etc), but I am working my way out little by little. I think I get too obsessed with the construction, to the point of feeling less than. Slap my face, snap out of it! This is the first time someone other than myself has posted my work.

Next… I am sad that my Women for Women sister has changed (women are sponsored for a year, then the sponsor receives a new sister for sponsoring). I couldn’t remember the time of year that I joined (July or August), so I knew it was coming.

In Nazlije’s exit interview/graduation report, I was very proud that it was reported that she made improvements of self confidence; and gaining a new support group. Also, her economic situation has improved and knowledge of her rights. Nothing in her report shows situations having gotten worse. She also stated she would like her sponsor (me) to be given her address for writing. Might I need a crash course in Albanian? (anyone out there know Albanian to translate for me?)

My new sister is nearly 20 years older than I am, and the mother of 8 children. Two of which are still school age, 14 total living in her household. She is also in Kosovo. She is a widow, and because of a checked box, I am assuming she lost her husband during the war.

While I sit in my cozy home (typing on my laptop, while the TV is on, and a fan is blowing because I am having a hotflash, with some fresh and filtered flavored water beside me), and read the profile on my new sister, I am simply humbled at my luck of the draw to have been born in the USA. When I think about how lucky I am, and how I take so much of it for granted, it really makes me feel ashamed.

To my new sister Hava, I would like to say welcome as my sister and I look forward to our correspondence this year. You are already in my prayers.

Tags: Quilting, Thinkings and Thoughts, Women For Women writings by Solje
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I received a letter from my sister in Kosovo! It’s funny the syncronicity that happens in life, she has been on my mind often this month–I don’t know why, she just has been. This is the first real letter in response to one of my first letters to her. Because translating can take so long, it can sometime be upwards of a month or two for your letter to reach your sister.

On the day I received her letter, was the day I sent out one to her… along with some pictures of springtime in my garden (daffodils… my favorite!). I wish that the correspondence could continue beyond the one year we get together. In a few months, my sponsorship will be transferred to a new woman in need somewhere in our ever-shrinking world. womenforwomen.org

Dear Melissa,
Hello! I was so happy when I received your letter. Thank you for your kind words. They made me happy and I think I am blessed to know you.

I live with my parents and I also have seven sister and two brothers. My eldest sister is married and has five children. Thre of them are girls and they have very beautiful names: Djellza, Donjeta, and Liridona. Her two sons are Shkelzen and Altin. I am 27 years old. I am not married and I don’t work. I have finished only primary school and because we were occupied, I couldn’t go on further schooling. Now I help my mom round the house works. I live in a village about 7kilometers far from the nearest town. It is a very beautifl place and all the seasons are beautiful here. My village is surrounded by hills. Two of my younger sisters go to school. They have to travel to town by bus. A woman from Sweden supports them. They are happy and I hope they’ll make a better living for themselves than I did for myself. this is a ll for now. I am eagerly waiting a letter from you. Please write.

I am sending my warmest regards to all your family.

Sincerely,
Nazlije

Tags: A Family Affair, Women For Women writings by Solje
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I posted a year ago regarding having signed up to sponsor a woman in need through Women For Women International . This month I finished up emailing my latest letter to my sister in Kosovo, and did some wandering around on the site. I decided to make a purchase at the Women for Women International’s Virtual Bazaar–items created by the women being helped through this organization. I purchased a handbag that was made by my sisters in Kosovo, banana leaf note cards by my sisters in Rwanda, and a bracelet created by my sisters in Afghanistan.

When I opened the package today of these items, I held them and thought about how each of my sister’s histories led her to this organization. It made me feel that the struggles I go through on a day to day basis literally pales in comparison. Today, I wear the bracelet knowing it’s a physical item that can link me at every minute of the day to a sister who is on the road to becoming an independent woman. Quite possibly a woman who has a history of such horrific atrocities, that I can’t even begin to fathom how her will to survive was stronger than the desire to give up.

The power to overcome and never give up has become my new resolve. The improvements I want to make in my life can be achieved, and it is thanks to my sisters all over the world that has given me this realization.

Tags: Thinkings and Thoughts, Women For Women writings by Solje
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In April, I signed up to be matched with another woman in need with Women For Women International. It has taken four months, but I have finally been matched! It’s kind of an strange thing to say I am excited about being matched, but to know that this is a more personally connected organization (with sisters) is what makes it such a good feeling to me. Plus, making it more personal, I received a picture and a small snapshot of her story. As a sister, I am encouraged to write once monthly, as she is encouraged in responding. Over the year, I will post blurbs with how this program has affected ME, and the good that is happening (of course, personal info won’t be shared here). I will say that my new sister is in Kosova. I didn’t state a country I most wanted to be matched within, only where the need was the greatest.

Tags: Thinkings and Thoughts, Women For Women writings by Solje
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